Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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