after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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