God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
