her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Vodka?
Forever.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
