Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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