$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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