if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
