his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
