thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Randomize
