There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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