I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
