As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
