okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize