She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
