I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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