My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
