One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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