u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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