Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This girl is more easily done than said...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
