i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
