Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
