The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
