even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
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Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
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Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You were trust falling into bushes
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