You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
