Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
