idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
