woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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