I'm drive I can fine osifer
I cockslap morals
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
