that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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