Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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