he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
