K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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