I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
