Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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