Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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