You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
