Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
