i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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