stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
