i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
