you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
