there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
