Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
