I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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