I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
