I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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