You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
