You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
