i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
