watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
