i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
