You really coming over, don't trick.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
