bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
