A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
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i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
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She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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