small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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