i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
