I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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