I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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