Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
