I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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