Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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