Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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