I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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